Orcs gettin confuzzled up in dis. And, you know, slain and stuff.

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Anonymous asked: TMI Tuesday? Yeah? Yeah. Have you ever been caught masturbating? Or almost been caught? :D

forgot about this one from last week :O

i’ve been caught a few times. always whip my pants over my doodle in time, but there’s no masking the red, sweaty face, man-on.

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Anonymous asked: What's your MOST embarrassing story ever?

there was one time i went to outback steakhouse for the first time and last time and ordered a big ass steak and ate the whole damn thing and took a big ass crap at my friend’s place and clogged his toilet and boy was it foul. thank god it was just close friends over and not, you know, many many people. i would have litrally died.

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Anonymous asked: What's your guilty pleasure?

putting a fat spoonful of honey in my mouth all at once. honestly, i’d rather just lick it up bit by bit. guilty pleasure? probably “parties in which i get hammered and play tricks on my friends” because when i drink too much i forget all of the habits and things that i do my best to remember, all the things i’m doing my best to keep track of like everything in my life that has brought me to this time and place, and every lesson i’m supposed to have learned. yeah, it just kinda get’s lost with too much booze. which is why i’m kindofa broken record sometimes, going through the same motions, going through the same cycles. ya feel me, grey face?

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thedragonkillingprincess asked: Okay, what WAS the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? =]

there was one time i was hanging out in the creek with like all my cousins and just randomly i go “i’m part moth, you know. i go towards the light.” and my cousin blurts out “get the light out of his pants!” and i just looked up and my dad’s at the top of the hill with a big grin on his face, camcordering the whole situation. that was pretty rough.

basically, can “my childhoold” count as the most embarrassing thing? or does  “my prepubescence” and “my pubescence” and “all of that until this moment” tying it make it not count for anything.

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Anonymous asked: Do you watch porn when you get off? If so, what kind is your favorite?



I’m an equal opportunity pervert. I just browse loads of porn. too much makeup is a turn off though, tbh. unless it’s halloween porn. you feel me, anon?

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itsabeautifuldaytodietrying asked: Do you have a bad habit that you know is bad, but have a hard time quitting? (I couldn't think if anything better for a TMI :P)

Thanks for the message!

Umm. Shiny things distract my health? and actually, i bite my nails like all the time. sometimes i don’t for a month, but then i just nibble the shit out of them into bloody stubs.

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Yo I haven’t gotten nearly as many TMI’s as I thought I’d get. What’s the deal? Don’t be shy. Ask about the time I did the thing and died of embarrassment and never went back to that place again.